domingo, 30 de março de 2014

Pehr Henrik Nordgren

Goji Berry - Emagrecedor Forte!

The Last Quartets

 "...no ponto que acabamos de espirar, chegamos supitamente a um rio, o qual per força havemos de passar em um de dous batéis que naquele porto estão,  scilicet, um deles passa pera o paraíso e o outro pera o  inferno: os quais batéis tem cada um seu arrais na proa: o do paraíso um anjo, e o do inferno um arrais
infernal e um companheiro."
 *(Está um Corregedor frente ao batel infernal em demorada discussão com o Diabo...)

"Estando o Corregedor nesta prática com o Arrais infernal chegou um Procurador, carregado  de livros, e diz o Corregedor ao Procurador: 

CORREGEDOR    Ó senhor Procurador!
PROCURADOR    Bejo-vo-las mãos, Juiz!
    Que diz esse arrais? Que diz?
DIABO    Que serês bom remador.
    Entrai, bacharel doutor,
    e ireis dando na bomba.
PROCURADOR    E este barqueiro zomba...
    Jogatais de zombador?
     Essa gente que aí está
    pera onde a levais?
DIABO    Pera as penas infernais.
PROCURADOR    Dix! Nom vou eu pera lá!
    Outro navio está cá,
    muito milhor assombrado.
DIABO    Ora estás bem aviado!
    Entra, muitieramá!

CORREGEDOR    Confessaste-vos, doutor?
PROCURADOR    Bacharel som. Dou-me à Demo!
    Não cuidei que era extremo,
    nem de morte minha dor.
    E vós, senhor Corregedor?
CORREGEDOR    Eu mui bem me confessei,
    mas tudo quanto roubei
    encobri ao confessor...
    Porque, se o nom tornais,
    não vos querem absolver,
    e é mui mau de volver
    depois que o apanhais.
 DIABO    Pois porque nom embarcais?
 PROCURADOR    Quia speramus in Deo.
 DIABO    Imbarquemini in barco meo...
    Pera que esperatis mais?

Vão-se ambos ao batel da Glória, e, chegando, diz o Corregedor ao Anjo:

CORREGEDOR    Ó arrais dos gloriosos,
    passai-nos neste batel!
ANJO    Oh! pragas pera papel,
    pera as almas odiosos!
    Como vindes preciosos,
    sendo filhos da ciência!
CORREGEDOR    Oh! habeatis clemência
    e passai-nos como vossos!
PARVO    Hou, homens dos breviairos,
    rapinastis coelhorum
    et pernis perdigotorum
    e mijais nos campanairos!
CORREGEDOR    Oh! não nos sejais contrairos,
    pois nom temos outra ponte!
PARVO    Belequinis ubi sunt?
    Ego latinus macairos.
ANJO    A justiça divinal
    vos manda vir carregados
    porque vades embarcados
    nesse batel infernal.
CORREGEDOR    Oh! nom praza a São Marçal!
    coa ribeira, nem co rio!
    Cuidam lá que é desvario
    haver cá tamanho mal!
PROCURADOR    Que ribeira é esta tal!
PARVO    Parecês-me vós a mi
    como cagado nebri,
    mandado no Sardoal.
    Embarquetis in zambuquis!

CORREGEDOR    Venha a negra prancha cá!
    Vamos ver este segredo.
PROCURADOR    Diz um texto do Degredo...
DIABO    Entrai, que cá se dirá!" 

Gil Vicente

(*)O enunciado entre parêntesis é nosso

Noz da Índia - Emagrecedor Forte!

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